Rewards and
consequences have their pros and cons. When I was in the classroom with my
first and second graders I tried establishing a rewards system. I hated the
inconvenience of having to pay attention to one more detail! One more thing to
assess, document, or put money into. My brain just felt overwhelmed and I
honestly wasn't very good at being consistent with a system. It just felt a bit artificial and I didn't really sell it well. I wondered if I was accomplishing the right thing with my students
- of course I wanted immediate compliance, but were they learning to gain
self-control and self-confidence or was I training them to always expect a
reward? I guess I believed that external rewards hinder internal motivation and
fostering internal motivation is what really creates enthusiasm for learning. Real learning that lasts, not just finishing homework or following directions during group work.
Now I have my own kids, and I am reconsidering
this issue with potty training. My husband and I have been a little frustrated
that we've been working on potty-training our son for 2 years - yes, he is
almost 4. I have gone through the whole gammit of thoughts and feelings like
"Oh my gosh, I am such a bad parent -we haven't gotten a handle on this -
something is wrong with him - we are spoiling him to let this go on so
long…etc. etc." We have tried rewards like suckers and toys, but then he just asks for treats all day. God forbid he fail to get a treat, and the tantrums go on and on. He didn't seem to be making much progress.
After a few weeks he just stopped caring about stickers and treats and was more
interested in playing than stopping for potty breaks. Our pediatrician
recommended we take a break from training and try again in a few weeks.
Next, we tried consequences - things like enforced potty breaks every half-hour,
restricting favorite TV shows or activities that seemed to be distracting him
from paying attention to the potty. This didn't work quite so well either
because he would just get mad, resist our efforts to control him, and he
actually started having more accidents! I couldn’t believe it. I gave up
pressing the issue for a few weeks. He has to learn on his own, right? He has
to be the one to decide that he is going to learn to monitor himself and DO IT! Hence - internal
motivation. We have always tried to give him a lot of verbal praise and affirmation for his efforts but in the end it
comes down to the child. Some kids are much more independently willed than
others.
I did find some really great ideas for rewards at
Child Development Institute. They are segmented by age level and focus on activities instead of material goods. Some of these make more sense to me as far as encouraging internal motivation, or at least your personal relationship with the child.
We are still
intermittently using rewards, in combination with some consequences, but I have
resigned myself to accept that he's on his own timeline with this. He wants to please us initially, and will hopefully feel good about his successes as he masters this new skill little by little! I would love
to hear any stories, wisdom, or redirection you have to offer! Feel free to
leave a comment below! Are systems of rewards and
consequences an effective way to get kids cooperating, or just an annoying
inconvenience?
How do they work in your classroom?